I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
