you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
