That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
