she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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