Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize