I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
