Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
