all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize