you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
