I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
