before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
