Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
