their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Non-Jews are for practice
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
