What a fucking waste of an outfit
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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