Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
