She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
