He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
