Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize