so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
