That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
