you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
