He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
