I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize