i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
