That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
