Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize