His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize