Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
