11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So drunk its hurt
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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