you turned your livingroom into a bong?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
