Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize