I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
