She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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