I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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