Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
