So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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