ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There r osticjed everywhere
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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