mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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