Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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