how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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