yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
and she was petting her beer can
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
