What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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