I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
