I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
