Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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