I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
