Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I am one with the molecules
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
