alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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