When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize