just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
