If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize