I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
