i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm passing your future prison.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
