Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
