Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize