I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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