Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
