she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She's the barista slut.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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