i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
