Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
