Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
