well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
