so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
