You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
