im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
