so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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