We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize