He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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