Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Im part way to drunk.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
