she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
