well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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