Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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