I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
It's Friday. Sex?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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